एस एम एस

Teacher: In this exam, you will be allowed 10 minutes for each question.
Pappu: And how long for each answer?

There was the dentist who went back to medical college to become a gynaecologist, This guy wanted to get into bigger cavities.

Banta: What is the best way to see flying saucers?
Santa: Pinch the waitress.

Jeeto: I want you to explain why I have to wear these same old clothes.
Santa: Bcoz if u don`t, you could scare the dog.

Banta: How do you like her new bikini?
Santa: It reminds me of trying to put 20 kg potatoes in a 10 kg sack.

What a woman wants is what you are out of. She wants more of a thing when it is scarce.

Lady: There is something wrong with the keyhole in my hotel room.
Manager: I will look into it later.

Banta: Ramesh says he would rather kiss his wife than eat.
Santa: I have tasted her cooking, I don`t blame him.

What is the difference between data and information?
362436: Data
36-24-36: Information.

`Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs.` This is the only sentence that has all 26 alphabets of English.
Be proud to be a drinker.

Jeeto: I hav read in a newspaper dat widows make d best wives.
Santa: May be! Bt u can`t expect me 2 kill myself dat u can b good wife 2 sum1 else. 

A widow wrote on the tombstone of her husband.
Rest in peace-till we meet again.

Banta: Did Ramesh furnish his whole house with second-hand stuff?
Santa: Yes, he even married a widow. 

One: I am the fourth husband of my wife.
Two: You are not a husband but a habit.

One: It is sickening the way my wife keeps talking about her ex-husband.
Two: That is nothing. Mine keeps talking about her next husband.

Woman: When my husband left me, he said: he was going to join the army for a little peace.

Jeeto: Dear, don`t u think I have put too much salt in the soup?
Santa: Not at all, darling. There is perhaps not quite enough soup for the salt, that is all.

He: Darling, if you marry me, I will satisfy your smallest wishes.
She: And what about the big wishes.

Jeeto: What intentions Banta has got?
Preeto: Well, he has been keeping me pretty much in the dark.

Santa: What do you mean, u got that black eye from a fire?
Banta: My wife caught me kissing an old flame.